yesterday went 4 few interviews yet sick n tired....dear dear called say he can come back but dunno wat time ask mi come over 1st.....i told him wont be so fast cos helmet nt wif mi i nt at his hse......he started toking so loudly tot i will go home n tell his mum abt it.....fuk man....why everything i must do 4 him....y he nv ask wat happen 1st....i wanted to go but on th bus i overslept and cant turn back cos it gg towards my hse area liao.....by den wat time liao.....went all the way to his hse feed his fish told his mum and his mum n bro follow to see him also kanna scold......wat did i do wrong? i still gt interviews to go in the morning n i oredi missed a few the day before he warded at NUH.....den my fault again....
i felt like walking away if i am such a nuisance to him or a bother to him....but i cant bear to do it......no 1 will be there 4 him but i cant stand it so i cried.....cos i feel bad also but i din meant it....i am extremely sick oredi.....i dun understand why everything must i do it 4 him.....i really dunno wat to say...even i say also quarrel wat for den.....
we waited till he is able to discharge frm NUH.......walk ard looking for the carpark dat he park his bike.....he becomes a bit better by toking to mi in softer tone....ask mi wanna buy carrot cake n eat .....but at the moment ...i feel extremely sad no mood to eat or tok to anyone even him.....took his bike home .....walk ard see fish again as usual....he starts to hold my hands to make mi feel better but by den i oredi ok jus still sick n sian.....i wont get angry wif him dat long always cos no point....always after a while i feel ok.....i noe him well enuff......n i noe he din mean it too......
went home i ate lunch 1st....he went down stairs meet campmate i tink....so i went straight to slp cos cant stand the fever liao.....slp so long also dunno cos he ard 5 plus den come home......ate his late lunch den we meet jerry n colin at 7 for dinner at the small hawker at queenstown........had a nice time wif them but still feel very sick esp kept raining.......haiz.......
reach home feel uncomfortable again.....this time is my tummy start to pain off n on......dunno why but getting a bit scare cos i dun wish to lose this bb.....its our precious little 1......i dun wan anything to happen to him......n i noe dear dear also looking forward to see him........whole nite cant even slp well......gt to see doc again today .............sianz............see hw den.........hope i feel better den.........
Friday, July 30, 2004
Thursday, July 29, 2004
yesterday morning Went hospital for check up.....arrrrrrrrrr torturing sia.......somemore still take 3 tubes of my BLOOD.......ARRRRRRR........faint liao.....
after dat went home felt uneasy.......fever came whole body ache arrrrrrr .......pain den received call frm dear dear saying he gg hospital for check up cos his army doc suspect his case is severe than stomach cramp.........oh my god.....i am worried sick yet i cant leave straight away cos i gt interviews to go........but dear dear promised to call mi once anything or he is done if can go home....
din receive his call or sms i feel very uncomfortable....worry dunno wat will happen next.......sms him no reply....haiz ......wat will happen?
he finally call and say must stay in hospital for observation..........omg .........i almost gg to faint on the spot.....i tell dear dear to wait for mi even though he ask mi nt to go......i still insist to go n see him........he is much more impt than anything i hv rite nw............rush over by train yet feeling so bad if i gt cash wif mi i would hv rush down by cab....dat would be faster.........saw him sitting at the accident & emergency departement i cried wif tears all all over........he asked mi "jus an operation onli.... i am nt dying yet"...i cant stand his cheeky face and smiled...........
accompany him till he is warded den changed den do some procedures b4 can finally settle down.....jerry n colin also came down see him....doc asked dear dear nt to eat but the stupid nurse go n put the dinner on the table....den i see him so hungry say eat a bit nvm........when he abt to eat........doc walked in n say er........ u bed 15 rite.....hey u nt supposed to eat.......i was like shit.........i sabo him liao........lol..........
he cant eat but onli can drink.......so poor thing.....we acc jerry n colin down to eat dinner.......i dun feel like eating cos my headache getting worse........buai ta han liao......but i dun care i still wan stay wif dear dear.........poor dear see them eat wanna drool liao......lol.......
after jerry n colin left......acc dear go back to his ward........tok to him awhile b4 he finally slp .........haiz.........i wanted to stay but no choice leave 1st cos my head really very pain man........hv to go home eat panadol..........go home liao still miss him a lot.........actually cant bear to see him alone there.........sobz......
whole nite din slp well.........2day woke up so early cos prep to go over later & see him early ........hopefully he gt eat something laa......
after dat went home felt uneasy.......fever came whole body ache arrrrrrr .......pain den received call frm dear dear saying he gg hospital for check up cos his army doc suspect his case is severe than stomach cramp.........oh my god.....i am worried sick yet i cant leave straight away cos i gt interviews to go........but dear dear promised to call mi once anything or he is done if can go home....
din receive his call or sms i feel very uncomfortable....worry dunno wat will happen next.......sms him no reply....haiz ......wat will happen?
he finally call and say must stay in hospital for observation..........omg .........i almost gg to faint on the spot.....i tell dear dear to wait for mi even though he ask mi nt to go......i still insist to go n see him........he is much more impt than anything i hv rite nw............rush over by train yet feeling so bad if i gt cash wif mi i would hv rush down by cab....dat would be faster.........saw him sitting at the accident & emergency departement i cried wif tears all all over........he asked mi "jus an operation onli.... i am nt dying yet"...i cant stand his cheeky face and smiled...........
accompany him till he is warded den changed den do some procedures b4 can finally settle down.....jerry n colin also came down see him....doc asked dear dear nt to eat but the stupid nurse go n put the dinner on the table....den i see him so hungry say eat a bit nvm........when he abt to eat........doc walked in n say er........ u bed 15 rite.....hey u nt supposed to eat.......i was like shit.........i sabo him liao........lol..........
he cant eat but onli can drink.......so poor thing.....we acc jerry n colin down to eat dinner.......i dun feel like eating cos my headache getting worse........buai ta han liao......but i dun care i still wan stay wif dear dear.........poor dear see them eat wanna drool liao......lol.......
after jerry n colin left......acc dear go back to his ward........tok to him awhile b4 he finally slp .........haiz.........i wanted to stay but no choice leave 1st cos my head really very pain man........hv to go home eat panadol..........go home liao still miss him a lot.........actually cant bear to see him alone there.........sobz......
whole nite din slp well.........2day woke up so early cos prep to go over later & see him early ........hopefully he gt eat something laa......
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
dear dear complained he gt nighmare abt his ex gf......who noes this morning my turn liao....i gt nightmares abt dat bastard....kaozz........all so real till i woke up abt 2hrs later......kaozz wats gg on man....dear dear dreamt of her i dreamt of him nt a good sign .........nw i scared of slping cos i scare liao.....i scare i dreamt of him again.........eeeeeeeeee..............nooooooooo........ i dun wan........get away from mi plsssssssss...........
Monday, July 26, 2004
hee~ yesterday morning woke up quite early ba ard 11am ++......hoping dear dear will call mi anytime frm nw....so i can prepare to go over...
tok to rat for a while den suddely saw dear dear online liao.....kind of happy but disappointed why he din call mi frm camp so i can prepare earlier....& dunno why he sound a bit fustrated wif wat ever i say in msn....kind of angry n disappointed...but i noe he is bery tired bocos of the previous nite hv to do duty....reach home of course will be a bit tired n still a bit dulan laa....
i quickly prep n left the hse....buy lunchie for both of us n hurried to the mrt station hopefully can reach his place within 1/2 hr time.....the trip seems to be fast .....but feeling a bit giddy dunno izzit din slp well cos again i cried the whole night den managed to slp.....dunno why i kept thinking abt dear dear....but feel kind of lonely lying on my own bed without him....
finally saw him liao....of course deep in my heart i am happy to see my dear dear.....but jus nw on the msn he sound a bit dulan so i din tok at all.....jus feeling hungry n giddy at the same time.....quickly eat my lunch n medicine n went to lie on the bed......he saw mi lying there....walks over n start to hug mi n kiss mi....i feel dat actually he is alright jus maybe stress over camp stuff....feel better when he did dat...hee~~
dear dear wan to wash bike.... so i acc him downstairs but watch him wash his bike.....den i went straight to nap again after he took his bath n start playing his gb again.....
ard 7 pm den i woke up....dear dear complained hungry.....so i went down a bit seh seh la but bo bian.....buy us dinner .....den again i nua on the bed.....dunno why keep wanting to lie down all the time.....always so tired.....haiz......
dear dear slpt quite early yest nite abt 9pm ++.....tink he is really very tired liao.....as for mi i tok awhile in irc....play a while gb n went straight to slp too....but once i lie down i start to tink abt a lot of stuff again.....dunno why even wif him ard....i still feel like crying n find it diff to slp.....
i start to think abt our future.....keep thinking whether dear dear will be able to handle our future .....yet i cant stress this on him.....cos he is facing enuff stress himself.....i dun wan him to feel even more jia lat than nw.....but i jus cant stop thinking n thinking......sianz.....
tok to rat for a while den suddely saw dear dear online liao.....kind of happy but disappointed why he din call mi frm camp so i can prepare earlier....& dunno why he sound a bit fustrated wif wat ever i say in msn....kind of angry n disappointed...but i noe he is bery tired bocos of the previous nite hv to do duty....reach home of course will be a bit tired n still a bit dulan laa....
i quickly prep n left the hse....buy lunchie for both of us n hurried to the mrt station hopefully can reach his place within 1/2 hr time.....the trip seems to be fast .....but feeling a bit giddy dunno izzit din slp well cos again i cried the whole night den managed to slp.....dunno why i kept thinking abt dear dear....but feel kind of lonely lying on my own bed without him....
finally saw him liao....of course deep in my heart i am happy to see my dear dear.....but jus nw on the msn he sound a bit dulan so i din tok at all.....jus feeling hungry n giddy at the same time.....quickly eat my lunch n medicine n went to lie on the bed......he saw mi lying there....walks over n start to hug mi n kiss mi....i feel dat actually he is alright jus maybe stress over camp stuff....feel better when he did dat...hee~~
dear dear wan to wash bike.... so i acc him downstairs but watch him wash his bike.....den i went straight to nap again after he took his bath n start playing his gb again.....
ard 7 pm den i woke up....dear dear complained hungry.....so i went down a bit seh seh la but bo bian.....buy us dinner .....den again i nua on the bed.....dunno why keep wanting to lie down all the time.....always so tired.....haiz......
dear dear slpt quite early yest nite abt 9pm ++.....tink he is really very tired liao.....as for mi i tok awhile in irc....play a while gb n went straight to slp too....but once i lie down i start to tink abt a lot of stuff again.....dunno why even wif him ard....i still feel like crying n find it diff to slp.....
i start to think abt our future.....keep thinking whether dear dear will be able to handle our future .....yet i cant stress this on him.....cos he is facing enuff stress himself.....i dun wan him to feel even more jia lat than nw.....but i jus cant stop thinking n thinking......sianz.....
Saturday, July 24, 2004
am i tinking too much dear? jus nw u called mi say wan buy shoes for mi yet better nt laa nt scare i "run away" meh....u so cute arrr....
tell mi wat to do.....i feeling more n more insecure abt it...maybe becos i oredi nt feeling well....always anyhw tink...
but.......wat if...... u will nv noe.....i wont noe 1 day u will hv a change of heart.....or u will listen to wat ur mum says if she mention it to u 1 day.....i really dunno man....
tell mi wat to do.....i feeling more n more insecure abt it...maybe becos i oredi nt feeling well....always anyhw tink...
but.......wat if...... u will nv noe.....i wont noe 1 day u will hv a change of heart.....or u will listen to wat ur mum says if she mention it to u 1 day.....i really dunno man....
Yesterday Dear Dear called mi early saying he gg home soon...din expect he can reach home so early....of course get my stuff done i go back straight....bought his nasi lemak...yet he was nua-ing ard toking to his mum n bro....again i felt unwelcomed in this family....its getting to my nerve by thinkng why shld i be there since dear dear has no intention to go anywhere....reach there help him buy light bulb for his fish tank .....bo liao rite.....
nothing to do jus slp lor...while he surf internet...but he say he wans to go jb ard 11pm....so might as well i go slp 1st...den when he is ready den go lor...who noes he play gb non-stop....till abt 12am plus....i was a bit disappointed wif him cos i hvnt eat my dinner n i was starving cos i wanted to buy dinner along the way when we r back frm jb.....yet jus becos of the game he can totally ignore hw i feel...wtf man.....why all guys r always so insensitive....at least he can say i am nt gg so early y nt u go get something to eat 1st.....dunno laa jus feel si bei sian of the way kanna treated.....i am even less impt than the game....kaozz
after we reach jb he looked very tired cos he din even slp in the noon time....bery good laa....somemore long queue at the msia customs....see liao si bei sian ....hv to wait heng the queue is quite smooth laa din really wait very long laa....change riggits den buy cig den go eat we headed home....yet i can feel he is feeling very tired....esp 2day still hv to report camp full day....even more sian.....i noe he is stress by wat ever in his camp....but i am stress abt other stuff too.....nt feeling bery well lately.....kind of getting sick again....sian........
This morning i wake up early to wake him up for camp...he is oredi awake but still bery seh seh cos nt enuff rest......dunno wat to do wif him man....nag at him he find mi naggy like his mum den will quarrel again.....dun nag at him den too giving in to him....si bei nan zhuo ren ar........
his mum suddenly came in tink she wan wake him up but he is oredi awake as usual see mi invisible....sometimes i feel to prevent more conflicts which might happen later i rather stay at home den staying at his hse.....seems like his mum is nt happy wif everything i do laa....i fear if she noes abt my past....dear dear will be even more stress...dear sometimes hv to learn to realise we will be facing a lot of stuff in the future.....if something happens....will u really stick to this relationship? stick wif mi n face our future?.....sometimes i really doubt if we can....dat time wannna leave u also becos of this....i really fear a lot of stuff.....i cant stop thinking.....i cant control my emotions....i cried at nite u din even noe....wat if i lose u 1 day.....meaning ur mum ask u to leave mi ....will i ever able to take it.....esp we hv our precious 1 nw.......i really scare nw....n i really cant take it longer..hopefully i get a job soon n move back hope this will lessen ur stress at home but.....will u still love mi dat much if we get to see each other lesser n lesser.......i dunno ... i dare nt tink .....i dare nt ask....i onli can hope things will go well.....i really do...
nothing to do jus slp lor...while he surf internet...but he say he wans to go jb ard 11pm....so might as well i go slp 1st...den when he is ready den go lor...who noes he play gb non-stop....till abt 12am plus....i was a bit disappointed wif him cos i hvnt eat my dinner n i was starving cos i wanted to buy dinner along the way when we r back frm jb.....yet jus becos of the game he can totally ignore hw i feel...wtf man.....why all guys r always so insensitive....at least he can say i am nt gg so early y nt u go get something to eat 1st.....dunno laa jus feel si bei sian of the way kanna treated.....i am even less impt than the game....kaozz
after we reach jb he looked very tired cos he din even slp in the noon time....bery good laa....somemore long queue at the msia customs....see liao si bei sian ....hv to wait heng the queue is quite smooth laa din really wait very long laa....change riggits den buy cig den go eat we headed home....yet i can feel he is feeling very tired....esp 2day still hv to report camp full day....even more sian.....i noe he is stress by wat ever in his camp....but i am stress abt other stuff too.....nt feeling bery well lately.....kind of getting sick again....sian........
This morning i wake up early to wake him up for camp...he is oredi awake but still bery seh seh cos nt enuff rest......dunno wat to do wif him man....nag at him he find mi naggy like his mum den will quarrel again.....dun nag at him den too giving in to him....si bei nan zhuo ren ar........
his mum suddenly came in tink she wan wake him up but he is oredi awake as usual see mi invisible....sometimes i feel to prevent more conflicts which might happen later i rather stay at home den staying at his hse.....seems like his mum is nt happy wif everything i do laa....i fear if she noes abt my past....dear dear will be even more stress...dear sometimes hv to learn to realise we will be facing a lot of stuff in the future.....if something happens....will u really stick to this relationship? stick wif mi n face our future?.....sometimes i really doubt if we can....dat time wannna leave u also becos of this....i really fear a lot of stuff.....i cant stop thinking.....i cant control my emotions....i cried at nite u din even noe....wat if i lose u 1 day.....meaning ur mum ask u to leave mi ....will i ever able to take it.....esp we hv our precious 1 nw.......i really scare nw....n i really cant take it longer..hopefully i get a job soon n move back hope this will lessen ur stress at home but.....will u still love mi dat much if we get to see each other lesser n lesser.......i dunno ... i dare nt tink .....i dare nt ask....i onli can hope things will go well.....i really do...
Friday, July 23, 2004
Yesterday Colin was so sweet to acc mi to see doc....haiz.......cfm dat i am pregnant le....dunno shld be happy or worry man....dunno hw to tell dear dear too....
after dat we nua ard at Bedok for tok cock session....as usual gossip abt Nick n Jerry....so u 2 ears must be damm itchy ......lol .....
Later in the evening.....Jerry meeting up wif us at tampines central....think he miss his 13 yi laa.....eeeeeeee so loving.....went to walk ard .....gai gai a bit den settle down at food court again....hur hur we gals dun shop at all....nth much to shop too .....lol
Jerry reached n settled down wif us....well as usual I love to di siao him....SURPRISELY.... he nt gong gong wor.....kanna outsmart by him liao.....lol
Again after their dinner ( I din eat cos nt hungry yet miss dear dear a lot)....go walk ard for jerry's new mouse....n den again we nua at Coffee Bean....dat place is fuking cold till I buai ta han wan doze off liao.....n these 2 couple goes LOVE U LOVE MI pattern ....ai yo yo even more cold....I like a giant bulb man....if dear dear ard I can at least hug him ......miss ya so much.....
We went separate ways to home...I decided to take the bus home....quite long nv take bus back to bedok liao....n it izzit a long trip at all cos it onli make a trip to the temask poly n back to bedok central.....I enjoyed the trip along the way even though its a short trip.....reach central walk slowly back home....deep in my heart I kept thinking abt u.....wondering wat u doing nw....hv u eaten.....r u feeling ok 2day....did he bully u again.....so n so.....the more I tink the more I feel like crying......cos I miss u so much......
reach home ....msn wif those 2 lovebirds...jerry n colin... at the same time sms u....I was like kind of envy them....at least they saw each other 2day....n kind of miss u even more......after chatted wif jerry den follow by colin n 1 by 1 went to slp.....play a while gb .....den was a bit tired.... went straight to slp.....suddenly felt diff slping at home...cos u aint ard wif mi.......felt so lonely again .....n started crying non stop......cos I cant stop missing u tinking abt u.....wishing tml will come faster .....wishing I can bring the time faster to the time u supposed to go back home.....n I can see u even sooner....the more I tink the more I cried..... I missed u so much.....but I noe there will be a few times u might hv to stay in again .....hw I wish u r back soon right nw!!
after dat we nua ard at Bedok for tok cock session....as usual gossip abt Nick n Jerry....so u 2 ears must be damm itchy ......lol .....
Later in the evening.....Jerry meeting up wif us at tampines central....think he miss his 13 yi laa.....eeeeeeee so loving.....went to walk ard .....gai gai a bit den settle down at food court again....hur hur we gals dun shop at all....nth much to shop too .....lol
Jerry reached n settled down wif us....well as usual I love to di siao him....SURPRISELY.... he nt gong gong wor.....kanna outsmart by him liao.....lol
Again after their dinner ( I din eat cos nt hungry yet miss dear dear a lot)....go walk ard for jerry's new mouse....n den again we nua at Coffee Bean....dat place is fuking cold till I buai ta han wan doze off liao.....n these 2 couple goes LOVE U LOVE MI pattern ....ai yo yo even more cold....I like a giant bulb man....if dear dear ard I can at least hug him ......miss ya so much.....
We went separate ways to home...I decided to take the bus home....quite long nv take bus back to bedok liao....n it izzit a long trip at all cos it onli make a trip to the temask poly n back to bedok central.....I enjoyed the trip along the way even though its a short trip.....reach central walk slowly back home....deep in my heart I kept thinking abt u.....wondering wat u doing nw....hv u eaten.....r u feeling ok 2day....did he bully u again.....so n so.....the more I tink the more I feel like crying......cos I miss u so much......
reach home ....msn wif those 2 lovebirds...jerry n colin... at the same time sms u....I was like kind of envy them....at least they saw each other 2day....n kind of miss u even more......after chatted wif jerry den follow by colin n 1 by 1 went to slp.....play a while gb .....den was a bit tired.... went straight to slp.....suddenly felt diff slping at home...cos u aint ard wif mi.......felt so lonely again .....n started crying non stop......cos I cant stop missing u tinking abt u.....wishing tml will come faster .....wishing I can bring the time faster to the time u supposed to go back home.....n I can see u even sooner....the more I tink the more I cried..... I missed u so much.....but I noe there will be a few times u might hv to stay in again .....hw I wish u r back soon right nw!!
Thursday, July 22, 2004
2day dear dear nt booking out.....i'm so sad....cos he cant acc mi n i got to be alone by myself....sob sob
nw almost lunch time n i oredi start missing him....haiz.......
dear dear told mi abt his army stuff jus nw.....i listen liao feel like crying man...cos he face so much stress at the army... seem like this time his reservice is nt gg to be an easy 1 man.....nw i worry once the officer try to provoke him more....he might get hot tempered n do foolish stuff..... hope he wont make mi worry so much ....
i feel like listening to his voice rite nw........i miss him so much ....
nw almost lunch time n i oredi start missing him....haiz.......
dear dear told mi abt his army stuff jus nw.....i listen liao feel like crying man...cos he face so much stress at the army... seem like this time his reservice is nt gg to be an easy 1 man.....nw i worry once the officer try to provoke him more....he might get hot tempered n do foolish stuff..... hope he wont make mi worry so much ....
i feel like listening to his voice rite nw........i miss him so much ....
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
this morning rain again....almost everyday rain rain rain...haiz.....poor dear dear must ride under this kind of weather which i dun like at all.....cos scare the road so slippery and his tyres cannot tahan when he start to speed a bit more......getting more n more worried when he ride alone....at least when i ard he tends to ride slower....h4 he left home ....jus gently remind him nt to ride so fast cos i scare he wan to rush 4 time.....hope he listen lor .......yesterday nite during the dinner ....dear dear told mi abt his army stuff......i noe he is getting more n more stress abt his superior keep pushing him ard....worry he cant handle his stress man n hit him.....haiz .... really worry abt him man....sob sob......
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
2day...meet jerry n his 13 yi colin at tiong bahru plaza....supposed to meet colin 1st at bedok but jerry laa wan meet for dinner...kaoz....made us gals so sian during the afternoon...
my dear dear also joined us after his camp for dinner....go plaza gai gai awhile den go home liao.....nth much to do man....why singapore so boring 1 man?...
Got to have a chat wif both jerry n colin oredi hor....hopefully wat ever should solve.... solve asap ar....jerry dun let colin mei mei down hor or else i kick ur ASS HOLE!!!!! n ur CBR 1000 too HUH!!! lol...... rite colin?
HaHaHaHaHa........
my dear dear also joined us after his camp for dinner....go plaza gai gai awhile den go home liao.....nth much to do man....why singapore so boring 1 man?...
Got to have a chat wif both jerry n colin oredi hor....hopefully wat ever should solve.... solve asap ar....jerry dun let colin mei mei down hor or else i kick ur ASS HOLE!!!!! n ur CBR 1000 too HUH!!! lol...... rite colin?
HaHaHaHaHa........
Been thinking thru abt the stuff dat happened lately....really kind of stupid tinking leaving my frds, my family & Nick is the best solution but its nv worked....I can put aside everything but wat keep appearing in my mind was Nick....I was struggling between death & him...cos I couldnt let go....I jus couldnt let go of him in my mind.... guess my DEAD ex bf is gg to get bery jealous cos finally I love someone else much more than him.... lol
Imagine I was at the verge of death wif jus a bottle of sleeping pills I took frm home....He kept sms mi telling mi to go back....to return to him....makes my heart melts was when he said he love mi very much he needs mi badly he wans mi back no matter wat he is gg to search everywhere for mi if there is a need too.....I felt so touched abt wat he kept sms mi.... kind of weird hor....I gg to die liao den u say mushy things to mi HUH!!!!....
lol......
I am glad to be back by his side.... no more thinking abt all these stupid stuff.... & of course I love him even more than ever... he deserved it man..... sorry laa my dearest Ex BF....someone replaced u in my heart liao.....tink u can rely on ur aprillia in ur neverland....nt gg to see u dat soon yet....opps.....lol
Imagine I was at the verge of death wif jus a bottle of sleeping pills I took frm home....He kept sms mi telling mi to go back....to return to him....makes my heart melts was when he said he love mi very much he needs mi badly he wans mi back no matter wat he is gg to search everywhere for mi if there is a need too.....I felt so touched abt wat he kept sms mi.... kind of weird hor....I gg to die liao den u say mushy things to mi HUH!!!!....
lol......
I am glad to be back by his side.... no more thinking abt all these stupid stuff.... & of course I love him even more than ever... he deserved it man..... sorry laa my dearest Ex BF....someone replaced u in my heart liao.....tink u can rely on ur aprillia in ur neverland....nt gg to see u dat soon yet....opps.....lol
Monday, July 19, 2004
Sunday, July 18, 2004
AH hahahahahaa......pai seh laa...Mr Ratkiller complained liao.... sorry sorry ...4get to thank all my frds who were there to support mi while the time I was down esp the most YANDAO "RAT KILLER".....sorry laa to trouble u all and make u all worry abt mi....esp my beloved bf......I love u all.....but I love my bf most lol......
Yesterday nite...rat n zizi came down all the way to look for us at our place....had a kopi session but its been so long I get to tok to zyn...she is still the same old sweet loving cute baby gal of mine hur hur.....
After dat rat fetch zi zi home n meet us at sg customs cos we gg jb to pak petrol....he called a along a "gf" a gal rider wor.... but.....NO COMMENTS!!!
Came back home...kind of tired liao... dear dear was watching the new Vcd he bought... KING AH TEH!!!! lol....... and I actually fell asleep.... well frankly speaking i find KING ARTHUR a boring movie.....hw abt u guys? Maybe its a nice show jus I'm too tired to open my eyes to watch....
After dat rat fetch zi zi home n meet us at sg customs cos we gg jb to pak petrol....he called a along a "gf" a gal rider wor.... but.....NO COMMENTS!!!
Came back home...kind of tired liao... dear dear was watching the new Vcd he bought... KING AH TEH!!!! lol....... and I actually fell asleep.... well frankly speaking i find KING ARTHUR a boring movie.....hw abt u guys? Maybe its a nice show jus I'm too tired to open my eyes to watch....
This morning my dear dear actually can wake up early wor.....nt bad nt bad at least wont be late for camp....scare he always speed speed speed...will worry 1 wor...
where else our dearest rat was late hor.....surprised to see his msn messenger on saying..."sleeping in progress"....pengz....so late liao still slping....lol
where else our dearest rat was late hor.....surprised to see his msn messenger on saying..."sleeping in progress"....pengz....so late liao still slping....lol
Yesterday nite, Rat came down to meet us for dinner at tiong bahru market....we had nasi lemak n desserts n tok abt his bike stuff....last min den say meeting nick's dearest mei mei Deborah.....made us kanna scolded by her for nt gg down to sengkang wif rat.....chee hong rat....huh! sob sob
Yet to find out wat happen during their "date" but will find out more frm nick ...lol...
Yet to find out wat happen during their "date" but will find out more frm nick ...lol...
Saturday, July 17, 2004
2day is saturday 17th of july.....i will always rem the day 16th of july wat ever stupid stuff i did .... dear dear ask mi nt to disappear again never ever wan to say leave him again.... of course i wont laa.... cos i know hw much he loves mi.... n i love him too
nothing special 2day ....jus waited for him to come home.... acc him stay by his side ..... but felt funny when he said " dun ever try n MIA again" ....lol
of course i wont laa..... he is so cute to tink there was a 3rd party betweeen us.... omg.... since when i gt crush on someone else where my mind is always wif him..... dat is why i love him even more n more....
even though we aint gg anywhere but sitting by his side acc him see him slp.... dats enuff....all i wan is to be alone wif him.... spend more time wif him.... nth else i wish to do but to stay by his side right nw....
might sound a bit mushy but this is how i feel right nw...so get used to it den for those who r reading....lol
nothing special 2day ....jus waited for him to come home.... acc him stay by his side ..... but felt funny when he said " dun ever try n MIA again" ....lol
of course i wont laa..... he is so cute to tink there was a 3rd party betweeen us.... omg.... since when i gt crush on someone else where my mind is always wif him..... dat is why i love him even more n more....
even though we aint gg anywhere but sitting by his side acc him see him slp.... dats enuff....all i wan is to be alone wif him.... spend more time wif him.... nth else i wish to do but to stay by his side right nw....
might sound a bit mushy but this is how i feel right nw...so get used to it den for those who r reading....lol
Dear~~~ seeing u in pain the whole night...... my heart hurts even more....Sorry I cried again cos u were in pain.... if I knew this is happening to u... I wont behave so stupidly yesterday ....& I wont make decision dat hurts u even more....I am sorry..... seeing u in pain n so sick.... still hv to go back to camp 2day makes mi guilty of wat I had done yest......
I really dunno wat I can do to make u feel better....
Love u always.....
I really dunno wat I can do to make u feel better....
Love u always.....
Its been so long since I wrote a blog....Its time to write 1 nw....This is for u to see Dear....U kept asking mi why I am doing this to myself yet... I cant tell cos I dunno hw to tell....I am ashamed n unable to face u becos I made such a foolish decision by leaving u behind taking all my pain n sorrow away.......I felt like a big burden to u....cant find a proper job cant help u financially cant cope wif my own stress n add on to ur stress more n more....I am so insensitive, ignorance & naive to think by leaving u n the rest will solve this prob....I am stupid right?
You noe I love u more than anyone in this world...except my precious 1 at home.....2 of u were the most impt people in my life....Yet I can let u 2 down....Am I a disgrace to all? I feel so useless in everything I do.....I tot every 1 in this world doesnt welcome mi at all.....No 1 will ever care abt mi..... No 1 will ever remember there is such a person like mi....
I'm sry dat I let you down & I promised nt to do it again anymore...... I finally realised the moment I was abt to step into death.....The 1 who actually turn my decision ard was u...... I couldnt let u go..... My mind kept thinking of u.... I was deceiving myself dat I could let go.... yet I cant....... I was so foolish to hurt u so much ..... by doing this I was actually hurting u more n more...... yet I was so stubborn to leave behind everything including u.....
I was facing a lot of stress lately ..... n I noe u r facing a lot lately too.... Ur work, u gg reservice 4 almost a mth, ur family n more..... I was the 1 who can make u feel better yet I made it even worst....... I was so stupid..... Just becos I cant managed my own stress..... I was breaking down I cant tell u at all.... Cos I worried u worry more n get more stress...... I never wan to leave u or anyone..... I really do wan to be wif u 4ever..... n ever...... n ever.......
I wan to create a better future wif u jus dat I was so helpless.... So mani things happened lately........ I felt so depressed.....so upset over it......... yet I dare nt say cos u r stress too........I wan to see u happy........ It really hurt mi to see u sad ......never will I wan to make u sad anymore..... at least this is something I can do right?
No matter wat happen next ...... I will stick wif u n accompany u & face the prob wif u & solve the prob wif u ..... Never will I wan to walk away frm ur life anymore...... I LOVE U ALWAYS DEAR!!!
You noe I love u more than anyone in this world...except my precious 1 at home.....2 of u were the most impt people in my life....Yet I can let u 2 down....Am I a disgrace to all? I feel so useless in everything I do.....I tot every 1 in this world doesnt welcome mi at all.....No 1 will ever care abt mi..... No 1 will ever remember there is such a person like mi....
I'm sry dat I let you down & I promised nt to do it again anymore...... I finally realised the moment I was abt to step into death.....The 1 who actually turn my decision ard was u...... I couldnt let u go..... My mind kept thinking of u.... I was deceiving myself dat I could let go.... yet I cant....... I was so foolish to hurt u so much ..... by doing this I was actually hurting u more n more...... yet I was so stubborn to leave behind everything including u.....
I was facing a lot of stress lately ..... n I noe u r facing a lot lately too.... Ur work, u gg reservice 4 almost a mth, ur family n more..... I was the 1 who can make u feel better yet I made it even worst....... I was so stupid..... Just becos I cant managed my own stress..... I was breaking down I cant tell u at all.... Cos I worried u worry more n get more stress...... I never wan to leave u or anyone..... I really do wan to be wif u 4ever..... n ever...... n ever.......
I wan to create a better future wif u jus dat I was so helpless.... So mani things happened lately........ I felt so depressed.....so upset over it......... yet I dare nt say cos u r stress too........I wan to see u happy........ It really hurt mi to see u sad ......never will I wan to make u sad anymore..... at least this is something I can do right?
No matter wat happen next ...... I will stick wif u n accompany u & face the prob wif u & solve the prob wif u ..... Never will I wan to walk away frm ur life anymore...... I LOVE U ALWAYS DEAR!!!