Sick liao

Had been coughing for so long. Had to choose other alternative to make myself get well. Hope Chinese medicine will work better than the other medicine I took.                               

true

I chose me

“Most of my life has been spent trying to shrink myself. Trying to become smaller. Quieter. Less sensitive. Less opinionated. Less needy. Because I didn’t want to be a burden. I didn’t want to be too much or push people away. I wanted people to like me. I wanted to be cared for and valued. I wanted to be wanted. So for years, I sacrificed myself for the sake of making other people happy. And for years, I suffered. But I’m tired of suffering, and I’m done shrinking. It’s not my job to change who I am in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being. I am worthwhile. Not because other people think I am, but because I exist, and therefore I matter. My thoughts matter. My feelings matter. My voice matters. And with or without anyone’s permission or approval, I will continue to be who I am and speak my truth. Even if it makes people angry. Even if it makes them uncomfortable. Even if they choose to leave. I refuse to shrink. I choose to take up space. I choose honor my feelings. I choose to give myself permission to get my needs met. I choose me”

Remember....

Remember this because it will happen many times in your life. When people show you who they are the first time believe them. Not the 29th. time. When a man doesn’t call you back the first time, when you are mistreated the first time, when someone shows you lack of integrity or dishonesty the first time, know that this will be followed many many other times, that will some point in life come back to haunt or hurt you. Live your life in truth. Don’t pretend to be someone your not. You will survive anything if you live your life from the point of view of truth.

Agree....

“Sensitive people are the most genuine and honest people you will ever meet. There is nothing they won’t tell you about themselves if they trust your kindness. However, the moment you betray them, reject them or devalue them, they will end the friendship. They live with guilt and constant pain over unresolved situations and misunderstandings. They are tortured souls that are not able to live with hatred or being hated. This type of person needs the most love anyone can give them because their soul has been constantly bruised by others. However, despite the tragedy of what they have to go through in life, they remain the most compassionate people worth knowing and the ones that often become activists for the broken-hearted, forgotten and the misunderstood. They are angels with broken wings that only fly when loved.”

Always remind myself.....

好久没写了。。。该写些什么呢？

宝贝拜一第一天上学，还是一样。。。在路上笑着，一进学校就哭了要妈妈。真受不了他。。。第二天，我终于病倒了。起不了床去送他上学，他就陪着妈妈身边陪了三天。今天，我好不容易身体好了很多，要宝贝上学去，好让妈妈睡个好觉。当然去时，还是哭着要妈妈，但觉得他也慢慢长大了，也开始懂事了。只怕下个拜一，我跟他一起上学，一起上班，会是什么情况。真是伤脑经。。。

拜一我就要开工了，心里七上八下，也不知为什么，就是有点担心，有点兴奋，有点害怕，有点不知所措。因为换了新的工作环境和要面对新的同事，才这样吗？ 还是对于育儿教育的工作感到厌倦了，没有那么热诚，失去对于照顾和教育孩子的兴趣了吗？有点心灰意冷的感觉。

就因为以前不愉快的过去，而让我对自己失去信心了吗？就因为这样我就从此站不起来了吗？我看见熟悉的脸孔，从前常常看到的笑容，等待我的到来，我却还是犹豫不决。或许我怕再跌倒就爬不起来了。或许因为过去不愉快的事件发生让我失去信心。可是如果再继续那么想，我就会辜负很多一直在我身边支持我的朋友，同事，和家长。

我必须要坚强起来，给他们看我不是弱者。我从不屈服，也不会向他们低头。我会站起来，好好的从新开始，从头再来。