Yesterday Dear Dear called mi early saying he gg home soon...din expect he can reach home so early....of course get my stuff done i go back straight....bought his nasi lemak...yet he was nua-ing ard toking to his mum n bro....again i felt unwelcomed in this family....its getting to my nerve by thinkng why shld i be there since dear dear has no intention to go anywhere....reach there help him buy light bulb for his fish tank .....bo liao rite.....
nothing to do jus slp lor...while he surf internet...but he say he wans to go jb ard 11pm....so might as well i go slp 1st...den when he is ready den go lor...who noes he play gb non-stop....till abt 12am plus....i was a bit disappointed wif him cos i hvnt eat my dinner n i was starving cos i wanted to buy dinner along the way when we r back frm jb.....yet jus becos of the game he can totally ignore hw i feel...wtf man.....why all guys r always so insensitive....at least he can say i am nt gg so early y nt u go get something to eat 1st.....dunno laa jus feel si bei sian of the way kanna treated.....i am even less impt than the game....kaozz
after we reach jb he looked very tired cos he din even slp in the noon time....bery good laa....somemore long queue at the msia customs....see liao si bei sian ....hv to wait heng the queue is quite smooth laa din really wait very long laa....change riggits den buy cig den go eat we headed home....yet i can feel he is feeling very tired....esp 2day still hv to report camp full day....even more sian.....i noe he is stress by wat ever in his camp....but i am stress abt other stuff too.....nt feeling bery well lately.....kind of getting sick again....sian........
This morning i wake up early to wake him up for camp...he is oredi awake but still bery seh seh cos nt enuff rest......dunno wat to do wif him man....nag at him he find mi naggy like his mum den will quarrel again.....dun nag at him den too giving in to him....si bei nan zhuo ren ar........
his mum suddenly came in tink she wan wake him up but he is oredi awake as usual see mi invisible....sometimes i feel to prevent more conflicts which might happen later i rather stay at home den staying at his hse.....seems like his mum is nt happy wif everything i do laa....i fear if she noes abt my past....dear dear will be even more stress...dear sometimes hv to learn to realise we will be facing a lot of stuff in the future.....if something happens....will u really stick to this relationship? stick wif mi n face our future?.....sometimes i really doubt if we can....dat time wannna leave u also becos of this....i really fear a lot of stuff.....i cant stop thinking.....i cant control my emotions....i cried at nite u din even noe....wat if i lose u 1 day.....meaning ur mum ask u to leave mi ....will i ever able to take it.....esp we hv our precious 1 nw.......i really scare nw....n i really cant take it longer..hopefully i get a job soon n move back hope this will lessen ur stress at home but.....will u still love mi dat much if we get to see each other lesser n lesser.......i dunno ... i dare nt tink .....i dare nt ask....i onli can hope things will go well.....i really do...